How 2 deal with an overcontroling mother in law
Posted by: Ayesha on
December 16, 2010
Ok so me and my husband have been together for 6 years total (Married for 3). And his mother has always been very controling to the point where you cant even state that you have an opinion different from hers. Recently she has been very rude and disregarding things that we ask for curtousy (things such as stopping by unannouced when we NEVER do that to her).
She has even told me that I am not what she wanted in a daughter in law and unless I change I will never be welcome in her family (her problem is that I am not overly social but I have been trying very hard, even my husband acknowledges that).
When my husband called her and spoke to her and said he wants to get everyone together so we can all work out our problems with each other like civilized adults she refuses saying the I am the problem and she has nothing to be sorry about. She also told him that she's sick of the bickering and of putting my husband in a situation where he has to choose me and our children over his parents so she's never coming to see him or her grandchildren ever again.
My problem is that despite how self-centered and rude and controling she's been I just want things to be fixed and work out for us cause I can see how its hurting my husband. The fact that she's not even willing to try is extremely frustrating. I know too that there are things that I want to say sorry for but she wont even give me the time of day for that. How can I get her to listen and want to sort things out without tying her down and gagging her?
READER COMMENTS
Carla says:
You can't make her listen, but you can just let her know you think it is important that she is a part of your family's lives. You could try writing a letter explaining your position and including the apologies you want to make. If you do get through to her though, don't let her control everything. So if you start by explaining the problem, then end with how you want her to be a part of your lives, but you want to be controlled, I'm sure you can find a nice way of saying all that. If she won't listen, there's nothing you can do except keep being nice no matter how rude she is.
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