Are his "Business Trips" Just Booty Calls?
Posted by: L.A. on
March 07, 2010
I've been dating a divorced man my age (40's) for over a year. We live an hour and 1/2 away from each other and I'm fine with week-ends only, he's the best boyfriend ever and I have no issues, we e-mail twice a day. However, when he's on his business trips, 2 weeks to several months, I have a hard time trusting him. Currently, he's on his longest trip, which he agreed to extend by 2 months to help his employer. During this time apart, I found out from his x-wife that he cheated on her a lot. I asked him about it, he admitted to cheating once. He had originally told me he never cheated on her. He seems to be honest and a great guy. However, he missed e-mailing me a couple of times while on his longest trip. He's usually very reliable but that got me to thinking. Both of us are not interested in marriage. I am interested in living together when the time is right, he is not. Am I wasting my time? Do you think it's likely that once a cheater always a cheater? (Even though it was in a previous relationship with his x-wife, they had only been together for a couple of years when this happened). He will always travel with his job and I will always be sad and miss him while he's gone. I don't know if I can handle the roller coaster even if he is faithful. There have been little, insignificant signs after he's gotten back from one of his trips such as making a comment about there not being any pretty women in the town he went to, etc. but there is absolutely no way to tell for sure. Although not trusting him is an issue, if I break up with him and he hasn't, how horrible would I be? I do love him very much!
READER COMMENTS
CharK says:
What I noticed the most about your post is something you mentioned at the end. " I don't know if I can handle the roller coaster even if he is faithful". His job demands alone bothers you. And obviously you have your suspicions, but I believe you have the right to. I have the best intentions when I say this, but perhaps you're just something to do on the weekends.
Pardon the pun. He's cheated before, it's been a reality to him, not some sort of taboo that no one's supposed to think about. On top of that, he lied about it to you, only admitting to cheating when you confronted him about his ex-wife. He'd cheat on a MARRIAGE. Who says he wouldn't on a relationship. A long-distance one, at that, where cheating is pretty much convenient.
I'm not trying to be a bitch, but cheating completely infuriates me. However, the "business trip cheating" conspiracy is only a part of your problem; you don't even know if you want to be with this guy. Even though you said you've been together for over a year, if you put off coming to a conclusion, it'll turn into another year, then maybe another after that. Just keep everything in mind when you interact with him; not just his words, but his actions, even how others think of him. It speaks volumes about his character.
MORE QUESTIONS:
Does he really like me?I cant stop thinking about himWhy won't he ask me out?