Is this just a phase that all teens go through?
Posted by: Thunderstruck on
February 05, 2010
I know this might be in the wrong topic but I don't know where to turn to.
I need help!
I have a 17 year old daughter who is generally a good kid!
Lately she has been acting up, doing what she wants to do mouthing back and treating her peers with disrespect. She has also skipped a few classes, but kept her marks up.
I really can't seem to get over the disrespect part.
Now she wants to go to University next year, and lately with her attitude, and her lack of respect of rules, how can I trust her on spending 5,000 a year for University? Is it just a phase that all teens go through?
I need help and any comment would be appreciated.
Thank you
READER COMMENTS
Thunderstruck says:
Eric and Nikki...thank you very much for taking the time to answer, I appreciate it!
I have talked to her, the only thing that stresses her out lately is that I do not approve of her boyfriend, but for her sake I am trying to keep an open mind.
She knows which direction to take in school (nursing) I am open to where she goes and what she wears, I try not to be a burden on her, and yes Eric you are right I was not the best teen, and I made allot of mistakes, guess I don't want her to make the same mistakes, if I only listened to my parents 5% more it would have made my 20's easier!
I try allot of my words may not be right but I would never run her down. She never came with instructions and sometimes I push the wrong button without knowing.
I have made it very clear to her I will always be there for her no matter what. I guess I just have to find some more patience until she reaches 21!
Once again Eric and Nikki I really appreciate your input and I take your advise to heart...thank you so much! :)
Nikki_19 says:
I agree with eric72 really you just need to talk to her and if she says she doesnt just tell her calmly allright if you need someone to talk to you can come to me anytime and leave eventually she will break down either into tears and come looking for you
Eric72 says:
It's pretty much a phase that all teens go through. Some more than others. But there is always a source for their actions. Whether it's vying for attention, acting out on stress and frustration (from family or school), possibly even being misguided -- not knowing what to do, so they take on the characteristics of friends. Have you talked to her? Remember, she's probably in an emotional state already. So coming off across as a parent, may make her even more defensive. Like all teens (past and present), the more the parents disapprove, the more they want to rebel. Let her know that your there for her, when she's ready to talk about what's going on with her. Make sure that she doesn't feel alone, and patronized. That she's talked and treated like a person, and not a child. It may take a little time, but at least you've gotten into her head that your not out to pressure, hound, punish, scold, or criticize her. If you've been a good mother (not saying your not) to her, she'll come around. Not sure if you remember, but being a teen is one of the most difficult things growing up. It can be very confusing. It's good for her to know that, even though your her mother, it doesn't mean that you can't be a friend who is willing to listen and not judge. And sometimes, teens need to experience things on their own for them to realize right and wrong, and consequences of their actions. When they hit that road block, it's good to know that she has family that will have open arms waiting for her, and not a finger wagging "I told you so". A good way to look at it, is to remember how you were when you were a teen; what were the things YOUR parents did that you didn't like, and how YOU (not your parents) would've addressed the situation had you been in their place. Good luck.
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