How to bring back the love in marriage?
Posted by: Alvin128 on
January 31, 2010
We've been married for almost 10 years now. But during those time Love seems to be fading away. We've tried to read books about marriage such as the 5 language of love, fireproof. At first, it made a difference but then through time. We've come back again to the same old situation. We've become honest with what we want in this marriage. And what kind of love we want with each other. But it seems one of us is not making the effort to do the "kind of love" that we agreed upon to commit. It became so one way. Again we tried to communicate and to meet halfway of each other. But futile it seems because someone is keep on forgetting --in what we have agreed upon. I've been patient about it. Even tried to really be brutally honest about what I'm missing about her. and I also tried to court her again. to bring back the excitement back. But it seems she was already settled in on what our situation is. It made no effect on her. Just continuing on her own way. Her work, her career, her friends.
And now I'm falling out of love. I'm not yet totally letting go.
READER COMMENTS
Eric72 says:
Just by curiosity, how old were you guys when you got married? How long were you two together before you go married?
This is a tough situation. I understand your desire to make things work. It's admirable that you are willing to fight for it. But in the end, any relationship is a two way street, and you can't make someone fall in love with you (or in this case fall back in love with you). It doesn't make it real. If she chose to stay and make you happy, is it because she really wants to, or is it out guilt or pity. In which case, it will end anyway. Maybe even worse than if you were to just let it go now. If you've tried your best, to try and make it work, with no success, maybe it's time to do a final sit down. Ask here what SHE wants (remember at this point there is reason for dishonesty, just lay it all on the line). If she says that all attempts to make things work has been exhausted, and that she's ready to move on, then I would advise you cut ties. It's sad, but there is no point in being in a marriage that has no love. You'll find your way, and you'll find that person whom you were really meant to be with. You just have to be positive, and keep in mind that it will be a difficult road ahead and things won't get better over night, but they will. Choose to use this time to better yourself, do the things that you never got to do when you were with her, reinvent the things you don't like about yourself. Good luck.
MORE QUESTIONS:
Does he really like me?I cant stop thinking about himWhy won't he ask me out?