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My husband and I have not had sex in our 4 1/2 year marriage. What do I do?

Posted by: PEACHYKEEN on

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January 17, 2010

We've been toghether for 9 years, married for 5 and my wedding night has never happened.Despite talking openly, crying, cajoling and initiating he pushes me away, rolls over and denies me.If I persue, he calls me derogatory names.He refuses to see a doctor or try Viagara, etc..We love each other and have an open and honest relationship, but I need more than a roomate who pays the bills.I am at my wits end!!!Is there any help for us???His identical twin is the complete opposite but only likes sex with prostitutes and totally denigrates women verbally and otherwise.He LOVES my cooking, so do I deny him that as a payback?????My true self esteem is in the toilet.Occaisionally other men make passes which doesn't phaze him at all, he's so secure in our relationship.I know without a doubt that he does and will always be faithful to me as I am to him.We've had many trials and tribulations and managed to make our way throught them all intact.I'm so very sad about this, I'm sinking into a deeper depression.My needs are all met by him except sexually.Please offer me any insight you can!!I trust him, love him, like him and do want to be with him until the end of time.Our sex life was fine until the day we married, 41/2 years ago. We are a mature couple with my children from a previous marriage all old enought to be on their own.This is his only marriage and he never had children of his own. He's a good stepdad, a good son,an accomplished professional as am I.I have health isues that have been there from the beginning of our relationship and was forced to leave the work force because of them, but my sexual abilities are definitely NOT impaired in any way.Can you think of any way to help me help US??? DESPERATE IN CANADA