Women can be downright competitive with one another. Ever notice that the minute you decide that you have that perfect girl; all sorts of other woman start paying more attention to you? I call it girlfriend karma. Women can sense commitment and they always think that they are more deserving of your attention than your significant other. The task of telling a pursuing female that you are just not that interested is extremely hard to do without looking like an extra for Will & Grace.

The key to doing this right is understanding that women communicate with each other and understand that it is going to hurt no matter what. Women have a network that is large and expansive - kind of like the Darth Vader’s empire in Star Wars. The advent of cell phones and the internet has only increased this network hundredfold. Trust me - you don’t want to end up on that website: Don’t Date Him, Girl.

Don’t worry! You are not alone, like Chewie backing up Han Solo, the Soko.com has got your butt covered with a bowcaster and this handy list of “Do’s” and “Do Not’s” when it comes to dealing with an unwanted admirer from the opposite gender.

Do Not: Be Intentionally Hurtful

Women can be harsh when comes to shooting down an oncoming guy. I’ve seen women flat out laugh at guy, make fun of him, and then just walk away. They can get away with it because there is a large segment of the male population that still believes that shallow pick-up lines, sheer tenacity, and aggressiveness is the best way to get a date. However, as a true gentleman, you cannot get away with that kind of harsh behaviour.

Rejecting a pursuing admirer is not a chance to get back at all the girls who rejected you in high school. Even if you really want to say she looks fat in her dress, don’t. You see, women coexist with one another in a complicated infrastructure of shared personal and emotional data which they use to blackmail each other and yet also use it to claim sisterhood. No matter how they use it they will unite against the evils of men. You shoot down one woman and all her friends and her friend’s friends will know about you in short order.

Do: Be Polite, Compliment, but be Honest

Few people are brave enough to say “I’m not interested. Sorry.” However, that said; if you are polite and honest this solution can save a lot of headache. Try combining a couple of compliments with the final news. The message is sent while hopefully leaving her self-esteem intake. Let her know that you like her, but you just respect her too much to become just a friend with benefits.

Do Not: Express Yourself Through Body Odours

Farts and burps are funny in Family Guy and Blink 182 songs but it is not something to do in front of a smitten woman. Now, I know you are laughing but I’ve had too many friends who think this is an easy way to get out of a relationship without hurting their feelings. The problem is that we’ve all seen those “Last Man on Earth” commercials by Old Spice and they are spot on. If you stink, girls magically disappear. Sure, they get gas too, but during the courtship process they like to pretend that they don’t.

Do: Express Yourself with Body Language

Body language is important in every situation. She might be able to sense your disinterest without the hurtful words ever leaving your mouth. The point is not to be disrespectful; she still deserves the time of day. Just try to avoid long periods of eye contact, keep your hands to yourself, and try to keep a tasteful amount of distance between your bodies. Keep the conversations short and to the point.

Do Not: Intentionally Act like a Loser

Do not lie to make yourself seem worse than you already are. Don’t describe the details of Hustler collection or explain why you believe it is a woman’s natural born right to do laundry. This kind of news will travel faster than SARS and quite possibly land you with a swift kick to the groin.

Do: Be Career- or School-Oriented

If you can, you should try to limit the time you spend with your admirer. Let her know about career goals and your busy schedule. Justify your abruptness by highlighting your career aspirations and your lack of a desire for a relationship.                                 

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you gotta do it

Author Francis Smedley may have said that “All’s fair in love and war” but a true gentleman knows that’s not true. Jokes aside, a broken heart always sucks. If you are in the unfortunate position of rejecting an admirer just remember to be polite but remember not to be a pushover.