You sucked it up, gathered the nerve for weeks, masked your fear of rejection with a shiny veneer of breezy self confidence, prayed your face didn’t give away your fear – and asked that special someone out on date. Phew. Time to relax, kick back and have fun right? Sadly, no.

To avoid taking your date to Awkwardville instead of Funtown can be quite challenging and only the tough will survive. There is so much to do! For guys and girls – obviously our pre-date rituals differ; women spend hours and a month’s rent perfecting clothes, hairstyles, makeup and grooming. And to be fair, I’ve heard that men occasionally brush their teeth before going out too. (Bring on the emails!)

Jokes aside – people want to make a good impression on a first date and a real connection. This inevitably leads to a desire to “make a move” as they say. As nervous as you might have been to ask someone on a date – the attempt to initiate some sort of physical contact is even more palpitation inducing. It’s like we all get sent back to the sixth grade when we slowly inch our hands together in the movie theatre. How embarrassing.

To avoid this unwanted foray into adolescence, there are a few things to keep in mind that should ease the transition between casual talking and casual sex. Uh, I mean, a deep and meaningful connection on the physical level. Right? Right.

Comfort Level

The first thing to keep in mind, for both men and women, is the other person’s comfort level. Are they having a good time? Making and maintaining eye contact? Not fidgeting and looking around, or checking the time or their cell phone frequently?

It is important not to kid yourself on this one. Instead, try hard to read the situation. Doing something small like brushing your hand on his, or helping her put on a jacket, can give you a clue as to whether or not this person wants to be touched by you. If she, for instance, recoils and tenses up when you make the slightest physical contact, it is not advisable to proceed from there.

Fairly often it is the man trying to make the first move. Women, as Elaine says on Seinfeld “just play defense”. However, it is perfectly okay and often considered quite sexy by men for the woman to make the first move. We have to play by the same rules though. If he’s not interested, don’t force it.

Don’t be too Aggressive

It’s also important to do it in small steps. Suddenly lunging at someone with your tongue hanging out of your mouth is not the most appealing method of making a move. It all depends on the kind of person you are out with to really set the mood and allow for things to get to the next level.

If you are on a first date, it’s probably your best bet to play it safe, but make an effort to show that you are interested. If a kiss at the end of the night feels natural and mutually wanted, go for it! As a girl, the worst thing about the first kiss is when guys ask “can I kiss you now?” It makes it so awkward and kills the fun of spontaneity. I obviously can’t speak for all women, but I think it’s best if you just go with the momentum of the evening. If it feels right, do it. Most women probably won’t even give you the chance TO kiss them, if they don’t want you to. There will be the aforementioned fidgeting, and racing to the door.