Going for your friend’s ex is taboo in most people’s books. If you decide to tread these waters, Justine Kim has some advice.
Some people establish rules for themselves when it comes to dating. These guidelines dictate whom they date and how they interact with the opposite sex. Things like, “Thou shall not date a co-worker” and “Thou shall not kiss/have sex on the first date.” One commandment that is pretty high up on just about anyone’s list, "Thou shall not covet thy friend’s ex.”
How firmly should we stick to this commandment? Is there any way to get the ex and keep the friend? There is no doubt that if you find yourself in this situation, you will have to work extra hard to keep both relationships working. If you do ever decide to tread down this slippery path, here are some tips on how to guide yourself through the triangle.
Is the Ex Worth it?
Really, it makes sense. Friends often share the same tastes in clothes and lovers. So it’s not unlikely that a guy or girl may come along that you both like. If a triangle begins to form, make sure he/she is really worth it. Is your attraction to your friend’s ex purely superficial? Or is it a deeper connection worth exploring? The fact remains, a short fling based on sexual impulse does not merit the end of a friendship.
Also consider how your friend’s relationship ended with their ex. Did the ex do something unforgivable to your friend, like cheat? If so, the ex is definitely not worth it.
How Important is your Friendship?
Even if you decide to go for it, there is a chance that the relationship won’t work out. So is the chance at this relationship worth risking your friendship? This is when you have to evaluate the bond you have with your friend. If this is a lifelong friend that you can’t live without, there is no guy or girl, no matter how special, that can compare to that.
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