Before you buy a polygraph or drag him to Maury, Terence Fernandes offers a few tricks to pull the ace out of his sleeve.
He may not drastically alter personalities, his nose certainly will not grow, and what happened to Jim Carrey in Liar, Liar is comforting, but it is a lie in itself.
So how do you tell? How do you know if he’s building an elaborate web of lies that could restrain you for years, suspended in thin air until the moment he tears you apart? Hopefully, we can bring your Spider-Man back down to Earth.
What you Already Know
Most women can easily tell when a guy is completely putting you on. These situations usually involve a man trying to pick you up or elevate their esteem in your eyes. Let’s focus on the guy you're dating.
Your estrogen will probably tingle if he changes topics or acts shifty. Maybe he’ll even avoid eye contact like a pigeon, who closes his eyes and hopes the threat goes away. But what if this liar dances around these familiar deception detection devices? What if his lies are just so pathological that you cannot tell truth from BS?
It’s like a game, the more he gets away with the more comfortable he’ll be at raising the stakes. Let’s see if we can up the ante and peek at his cards.
What you May not Know
Although there are discrepancies with this method, body language is still a significant give-away of any would-be liar. Imagine you’re standing with your arms crossed, waiting to hear the intricate story he is about to construct. Start at the top, and we’ll work your eyes down.
Looking to the left (from your viewpoint looking at him) could mean he’s lying; research suggests that people will look in this direction when constructing an image or sound. Looking to the right, however, suggests thinking or an attempt to remember an image or sound.
Some of you are thinking: if he looks aside… LIAR! In reality, this technique isn’t as conclusive as people would like to believe. For example, looking down and to the left indicates a person is recalling a smell, feeling, or taste; while looking down and to the right indicates internal dialogue, which could mean internally verifying his make-believe story of what he did last night.
Eye movement can get tricky. In the heat of the moment, when you can’t remember your right from left, you may charge him as a liar, when he’s merely struggling for the right thing to say. Moreover, a person who is left-handed may have opposite meanings for their eye-movements. Therefore, you should be aware of this method but don’t base your case on it.
Lastly, when watching his eyes you should notice if he continually looks toward a door. Liars will glance that way as a means of getting out. Therefore, before you interrogate him make sure you pick a strategic location – a door and numerous lights (preferably fluorescent) should do the trick, but if you’re feeling festive make sure you turn up the heat. Finally, in case you’re just browsing and you missed it earlier, a prospective liar will have trouble meeting you eye-to-eye.
Although liars have evolved in their skills, evolution skipped the face because when a person lies their lips do not necessarily correspond to their eyes. For example, he might try to cover up the lie with a joke, yet his eyebrows are still nervously contorted. Similarly, if he tries to sweeten his sincerity with a smile, yet only his mouth moves, his expressions are forced and you should question their authenticity.
Unless a liar is conscious of it, his facial expressions will not correspond to his words. Genuine emotion involves the whole body. The eye muscles, which few people can voluntarily manipulate without looking deranged, often squish together when a person is lying.
Throw out a question. One you know will get his brain working overtime – or at least punch-in for a shift. Now watch his hands. If they instinctively reach for the face, get that sixth sense tingling. As Seinfeld says, the higher up the face the more serious the lie. A mild white lie and he strokes his mouth; a deep burdensome lie and he’s massaging his eyebrows.
Is he crossing his arms – or if he’s more feminine – his legs? This indicates a primal protective instinct. The desire to retreat when attacked. The liar will retreat toward his own body. Moreover, their movements are more likely to be stiff or less frequent. They may even subconsciously make subtle movements away from you.
Pretty obvious? I agree. But nonetheless, if you notice a trickle of sweat slide down the side of his cheek don’t wait for his nose to grow (unless you’ve turned up the heat beyond reason).
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