Before I begin, let me just say that I doubt the French invented this method of kissing. I imagine that we’ve been doing it since the beginning of time that it’s always been somewhat of an instinct. Some people may have an aversion to tongue kissing, but I can't imagine a life without this wet, delicious, sensual communication of erotic intent. 

Most women will say that they base a lot of their impression of a man on the way he kisses. Is he rough? Is he gentle? Does he know what the heck he's doing at all? All of this matters. But ladies, I've got some news for you too. There's just as much riding on this from your end as well. Guys can tell a lot from just one French kiss. Namely, they'll know just how effectively you can use your tongue. And yes, that matters.

So now that I've demonstrated the importance of a good French kisser, let's talk about the elements of a good French kiss. When reading the following five techniques, imagine you're just starting out with your lover – and you want to make a great first impression.

1. The Closed-Lip Kiss

Why in the world would I start with a closed-lip kiss? Isn't that the opposite of a French kiss? Yes it is, but we've got to start somewhere and you've got to crawl before you can walk.

The closed-lip kiss is great for starting out because it gives you time to get comfortable with your lover and it goes a long way in setting the mood. Use this time to get comfortable, put your hands in the right position, get your face wherever you want it, and so on.

Too easy? Okay, let's move on.

2. The Tongue Tease

When your tongue first enters the other person's mouth, make it a tease – a taste if you will. This isn't the time to be seeing how far in you can get. The trick is to be slow and very subtle.

Explore their lips, teeth and tongue, but only for a moment. They should feel you getting in there and then leaving just as fast. This isn't because you're nervous, it's because you're in control. You don't want to give away the ending before the story has even begun.

3. Exploration

Now comes the time when you're going to put a little 'oomph' into it. This is the part that most people think about when they hear the term 'making out'. It's that long, sensuous, tongue driven moment that makes your lover think 'wow'.

To describe this moment would be like trying to describe the color red, but I'll do my best.

Depending on your position put your hand on your lover's back or waist and press your lips against theirs slowly and firmly. With your lips on the way to their lips, have your tongue ready to make its move into position. When the time is right – once your lips have made contact – plant your tongue on their tongue (which should be up and ready) and press lightly.

At this point, it should be loud and clear to your lover that you know exactly what you're doing. And we've only just begun.

4. Outside the Mouth

At this point, it would be natural for you to keep going and move forward as you please. But that's why I'm here – so that you don't get carried away.

After a little bit of exploration, I like to cool down for a moment, and back up for a second. No I don't mean that you should move away and strike up a conversation. But ease up on the aggressive kissing. Go back to the closed-lip style and focus on the outer lip, chin, and neck.

This is all a ploy to keep your lover guessing. And they'll never guess what you're going to do next. 

5. The Lower Lip

The secret weapon in most French kissing arsenals is the lower lip. Of course, this needs to be done with a lot of tender care.

Take your lover's bottom lip into your mouth and suck it. Use your tongue to add to the sensation while your lips surround their lower lip. Move fast, move slowly, use your tongue, use your lips – do whatever the heck you want to do. But focus – and I mean focus – on the lower lip.

Paying this kind of attention the lower lip is very erotic for everyone involved. Both men and women love doing it, and having it done to them.

More Advice

In addition to that system, there are a few other common techniques. Encircle their lips with your tongue. Flirt and tease them by flitting the tip of your tongue just past their lips, then as they loosen up, push your tongue deeper into your lover's mouth. Then pull away and tease them again!

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leave your lover wanting more

One important thing I haven't discussed is to make sure you are both comfortable and relaxed. If that's candles and music, go for it. If you prefer the back seat of a station wagon, knock yourself out.

Lastly, know when to put an end to it. French kissing and making out are great, but you'll always want to leave them wanting more.