In a previous article I discussed how to go about convincing your partner that it’s “baby time.” However, for some of us “baby time” isn’t a natural option.  In Canada it is believed that a little over two percent of the population suffers from fertility issues, while in the US the number is around six percent.  This is not to mention that couples are attempting to have children at an older age, at least in comparison to previous decades.  In other words infertility is becoming more prominent in our modern society and couples who have trouble conceiving are paying an emotional price, which in turn has the potential to ruin a relationship.  Let’s find out how to make it through this tough time together, as a couple. 

More and More Infertility
As mentioned above, infertility is on the rise in many Western nations, including Canada and the United States.  One of the main reasons for infertility is our natural biological clocks and our delaying getting married and getting around to having kids.  Let’s face it, we’re not getting married in our early to mid-twenties like our parents did, but rather we’re waiting until our thirties and our later thirties to have kids.  For women, this can be an issue, as a woman is typically at her fertility peak at around 27.  As you can imagine, from then on it gets a bit harder every year to conceive.

For some though, including those who are considered young and fertile, infertility can arise due to various medical conditions.  For women such medical conditions include a damaged or blocked fallopian tube, endometriosis, ovulation disorders, hormonal imbalance, thyroid issues, stress and much more.  For men, the vast majority of infertility issues occur due to impaired function or production of sperm, lifestyle choices and impaired delivery of sperm.  All told, roughly 20 percent of infertility issues have to do with the male partner, while 40-50 percent have to do with the female partner.  The other 30-40 percent are due to issues with both partners.  

Making It Through Infertility
Now that we’re a bit better informed about the causes of infertility, the next logical step is to work on getting through infertility together.  The first thing to keep in mind is that there are many options out there for couples having trouble conceiving.  Such options include in vitro fertilization, hormonal therapy or even adoption if all else fails, amongst other options.  The point is not to get too down about the situation and to explore the various options out there before giving up emotionally or perhaps, on each other. 

Second, explore your feelings about the matter and then share those feelings openly with your partner.  By sharing these feelings with your partner, he or she can give you all the emotional support that you need.  It doesn’t do either partner any good to keep the negative emotions bottled up or attempting to repress them.  Of course, depending on who is having the issue (or both of you) it can be hard to give the proper support due to the basic psychological differences between men and women.  While giving support, try to understand where your partner is coming from in regard to that perspective. 

To sum things up, do not give up on one another emotionally during the trying time of infertility.  Remember, both of you made it to the point of wanting to have children together, which should be a good indicator of how close you and your partner have become emotionally and psychologically.