Whether you’re in a happy, healthy relationship, you’ve recently met someone special or you’re trying to choose between one (or more) men or women in your bid to find your soul mate, you’re going to have to make choices.  For some of us, it’s a question of whether we’re ready to start a family; for others, it’s a question of which of your three current flames you want to take your relationship to the next level with.  Whatever relationship decision you’re facing, here are a few ways you can feel better when making tough choices.

List ‘em Out

For those of us who feel better when we break things down logically, the pros and cons are very comforting decision making tools.  For those of us who tend to rely solely on our emotions when making decision, learning how to determine the pros and cons of a certain situation will help you see things more clearly.

The first step is to verbalize what you’re deciding between:  to start trying to have a baby or to renew your birth control, or picking between sweet and funny Jane/John or driven and smart Ashley/Ashton.

Once you know what you’re talking about, make a list of the positive things and negative things about Jane.  Write down whatever comes to your mind, without editing yourself, even if your concern seems silly or trivial.  Keep going until you feel that you’ve exhausted both the negatives and the positives.  Then do the same thing with Ashley.  Be sure to put your lists aside for a few days and then review them when you’ve had a chance to clear your head.

With pros and cons, it’s not the person or thing with the less cons that wins the day.  Just because there are far less cons that go along with having a baby and starting a family, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s the right decision.  That’s why making choices is tough.  Nothing is cut and dry.

What establishing the pros and cons of your specific decision allows you to do is form a complete picture of your decision.  While Jane’s habit of biting her lip might annoy you, it’s not a deal breaker.  And while Ashley is career driven and that’s something that you really like about her, the fact that she doesn’t want kids might be something that you can’t live with.  Use your pros and cons to make things a little easier to see in perspective.