Here’s Something to Ponder

The reason why trying to match your wish list note for note is impossible is very simple:  nobody, and I mean no one on earth, is as perfect as your wish list dream man or woman seems to be on paper.  Nobody.  Once you’ve had a chance to absorb that fact (and it can take a single man or woman years and years to accept it), everything in a single’s life becomes a little easier.

While you might find someone that fulfills much of your wish list, or at first seems to tick off all of your little boxes on your list, remember that they are as human as you are.  Everyone has faults. 

And trying to make a man or woman into your dream list of qualities will be traumatic for all involved.  This is another lesson it can take us years upon years to learn; some of us never learn this lesson as we are always trying to change the men and women we date.  Don’t try and force someone who is close to perfect into fitting into your dream of a man or woman.  And certainly, if you want to avoid too much heartache, don’t try to mould someone who is nowhere near your wish list into shape!

How to Deal

Wish lists are important.  Without them, how would our friends and family ever know what to get us for birthday presents?  Without a wish list, it can be difficult to know out own minds when it comes to finding a man or woman to share our beds and lives with.  But when wish lists get out of control, we need to remember the key to all successful relationships.

Compromise will get your far in life.  If we are too rigid, we’ll miss out on opportunities.  If a single man or woman insists that their ideal mate has to be in tip top shape, have eyes of a certain colour and enjoy curling, they may miss out on the man or woman who could be right for them.

It’s helpful to divide your wish list into “deal breakers” and “wishes.”  Your deal breakers are things you can’t do without:  for me, having a good sense of humour is key.  Not that my ideal mate has to be funny, but he has to know how to laugh and he can’t take life too seriously.  Wishes are things you would like, but are willing to bend on.  Keep your list of deal breakers as small as possible, and your list of wishes as realistic as possible and go out into the world.

Wishing Upon a Star

Keep your wish list in hand, but keep compromise close to your heart if you want to find success in the dating world.  Good luck in love, or at least in looking for it!