Commonalities Between the Sexes
On average, roughly 50-60 percent of domestic abuse incidents involve women being abused by men, which leaves another 40-50 percent of cases that involve men being abused by women.  You would think that domestic abuse incidents against men would be much lower, as from a physical standpoint, it is widely known and accepted that men are stronger than women.  But the fact of the matter is that there are men and women out there who refuse to or cannot defend themselves.  Whatever the reasons are for both men and women who continually take abuse and do nothing about it, the fact is that both women and men are subject to domestic abuse. 

Looking at commonalities between the sexes, there are three main causes for abuse against either women or men in a relationship: alcohol, psychological disorders, and unrealistic expectations, assumptions and conclusions.  Alcohol is probably the most obvious cause for domestic abuse, especially in high quantities due to the fact that it limits our impulse control, inability to control and work out frustrations about the relationship/person and the misguided belief that violence will solve the problem amongst other contributing factors. 

Diagnosed or undiagnosed psychological disorders are another major reason for domestic abuse.  Such diseases include bipolar disorder and various personality disorders.  The most prominent disorder that leads to abuse, especially against men by women is borderline personality disorder, which accounts for 50 percent of domestic abuse cases against men.  Finally, unrealistic expectations, assumptions and conclusions about the relationship, life, finances, etc… are another common cause, most of which should easily be self-explainable. 

A New Theory: Narcissism
A new study from researchers at Kent State University suggests that there may be another underlying cause to domestic abuse, especially against women: narcissism.  Simply put, the researchers concluded that women’s ability to gratify or thwart a man’s narcissism.  For those who have forgotten or do not have a dictionary handy, narcissism is “inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.” In other words, it is a personality attribute seen most during our toddler years. 

The researchers looked originally at previous research about narcissism and those with narcissistic tendencies, which concluded that such individuals can be prone towards violence and revenge.  The researchers found that heterosexual men with narcissistic tendencies showed the most hostility towards heterosexual women and not the other groups included in the study (homosexual men and women and other heterosexual men).  What does this mean? It means that heterosexual men with narcissistic personalities believe that a romantic relationship should be patriarchal- not egalitarian. 

By maintaining a domineering role in the romantic relationship, such men are feeding their inert desire stroke their ego.  This in turn has the potential to erupt into domestic abuse, which as we have already discussed, is prevalent enough as it is.  If you believe that you are a victim of domestic abuse, contact your local domestic abuse organization for tips on how to effectively deal with domestic abuse.    

Sources:
Abanet.org
CBC.ca
Oregoncounseling.org
Sciencedaily.com
Dictionary.com