You know when you have a party to go to, but maybe it’s snowing or raining, it’s far away, or you’re just plain tired?  It becomes impossible to think about anything but the hassle of getting there.  But then once you arrive and take off your coat, you have a great time and you’re glad you decided to go.  That is my not so veiled metaphor for going down on women.  Here’s how to get your man to the party more often.

Shave

Wow, that sounds really insensitive but it’s number one on the list because it’s the most important.  First of all, it makes things soooo much easier in basically every way; easier to see what you’re doing, easier to breath, easier to move around, and easier to not end up with pubic hair in your throat.

Second of all, in sexual terms, our member is like Rambo, full of perseverance and prepared to hack and slash through any jungle necessary to get what it wants.  Whereas our tongue is like the frightened mercenary from the last Rambo movie, ready to give up at the first sign of adversity.  I know shaving is a hassle but it’s in your best interest and is much appreciated.