Don’t Go Down on Him

This strategy may sound petty and passive aggressive but the truth is even the most simple-minded of us man folk will eventually pick up on basic behavioral patterns.  We gain this skill early through puzzle solving games on Sesame Street and it’s to your advantage to use this against us. It may take weeks but sooner or later we’ll realize when we get head and more importantly, when we don’t.

However, it’s important to not tell us you’re employing this strategy.  If there’s one thing we have more of than puzzle-solving skills, it’s foolish pride.  Telling us you won’t go down until we go down is a surefire way to end up in a sexually frustrated Mexican standoff.  

Flattery

There’s nothing as satisfying as pleasing your woman and for that reason I find that my favourite positions are the ones where she is getting off (even if physically I’m not getting much sensation out of it).

So take every opportunity to tell him he’s good at going down on you.  We’ll keep doing something if we think we’re good at it.  So moan, groan, blatantly lie, or even fake an orgasm if you have to! After enough compliments you’ll condition us into going down all the time.  But what if your guy really isn’t doing what you want and not getting any better?  The answer is...

Coaching

Quite frankly, it’s intimidating down there.  There’s a lot going on and a lot to keep track off.  And if you’re not responding, it can be easy to lose confidence in a hurry and resort to trial and error.  So whisper instructions and give us a nice pat on the head when we get it right.  I hear a lot of women say it’s embarrassing to say out loud what they want, but I can assure you we find it equally embarrassing to be awful at giving oral sex.

Plus it’s sexy when you tell us what you want.  And don’t worry; you won’t have to do this every time.  Like a good GPS, once we’re programmed correctly we’ll be able to get you there without any assistance. 

Make it Comfortable for Him 

I’m not talking about lighting, atmosphere or spiritual connections here.  I mean literally, where is his neck? There’s nothing worse than being in a position that recreates the high school hazing experience of pushing a quarter down the hallway with your nose.  Move your hips to the edge of the bed, put some pillows under your butt, sit on his face, or just anything that will avoid making us feel as though we watched Avatar from the front row of the theatre.  

In all honesty, going down is a blast.  Don’t cloud your mind with concerns that we aren’t getting anything out of it.  We like it because you like it!  We just want it to be as convenient and comfortable as possible, that’s all.  Keep these tips in mind and you won’t be able to get us out of the foreplay stage.  That’s a lie.