Body image and weight gain are touchy subjects with many people.  Is it better to hold your tongue when your partner is changing shape?

This is an issue that takes some diplomacy to address.  If you have doubts about your ability to be diplomatic with your partner, your ability to hold back from saying something hurtful and blunt, then it may be better for you to steer clear altogether or you risk wrecking yourself on these dangerous shoals.  If you do have some confidence in your ability to mince words and be discreet, then these suggestions may help you improve your relationship and your partner’s health.

Judgement Day
No one likes to feel as though people are criticising and judging them, least of all our significant others. Bringing up the physical fitness of your partner will sound judgemental if you’re not extremely delicate with your words. There are some dangerous ideas that should be avoided at all costs and they are: comparisons, specifics, and negative language.

Comparisons are something that we as humans make all the time, but to be a respectful and decent partner means NOT sharing those comparisons with others. Comparing your lady with some other lady is not something she needs or wants to hear. And there is a good chance that if some such comparison slips out, she will head for the comforting Haagen Dais – the only question is whether or not she will dump you first.

Specifics flaws and problem areas are not things that need to be brought to light. Most people are highly aware and self conscious of certain parts of themselves, and to have your partner affirm that, yes, you do have fat thighs or flabby upper arms, is not a positive way of working towards a better body. Leave the particulars of the problem out of this conversation, whether or not they ask for details. There is a good chance that if they’re asking for specifics, they are doing so with a sarcastic or daring tone of voice. If you aren’t picking up on that, believe me, that’s not because it isn’t there.

Negative language and phrasing should be brutally chopped out of your vocabulary before attempting to negotiate such delicate subject matter. Fat, heavy, weight, gain, flab, pork, plump, big, huge, large, etc, etc. The list could go on and on. The point is that you should not focus on the problem, but on a solution. Pointing out the problem will get you slapped, dumped, or cried on, in all likelihood. A positive spin is necessary to achieve positive results.