Too Much Support Equals Troubled Waters Ahead
When someone isn’t receiving enough support in a relationship a common response is to seek out support from outside sources, i.e.  friends and family.  But when faced with too much support from an overbearing partner, we aren’t equipped to deal with the overload.  In one study, four specific types of support were defined: Physical comfort and emotional support, esteem support, informational support and tangible support (filling in for your partner so they can deal with their issue). 

As you might imagine, the most commonly overused form of support in a relationship is informational.  It can involve a romantic relationship or just an everyday friendship, but a lot of us aren’t too keen on listening to advice that we do not want to hear.  So the next time a problem arises for your partner, only provide informational support when asked.  One support mechanism that cannot be overdone is esteem support; giving your partner encouragement and having confidence in them. 

The study also mentioned that not enough support was by far the main cause of rifts in a relationship.  As we will see in the last section, there are steps that you can take to ensure that you are giving your partner enough and the correct kind of support. 

Support Isn’t Generic
As we all know, men and women are different in more ways than one, but especially in regard to the way we think.  Another study found that men and women generally require different kinds of support, i.e. the support you would give to your best guy friend isn’t the kind of support that you would give to your wife or girlfriend. 

When it comes to women, any kind of support is better than none.  If your girlfriend or wife doesn’t come right out with the kind of support that she is looking for, continue to give the kind of support that you feel is working.  In reality, women care more about the effort than whether or not the support is actually working.  On the other hand, men generally look for a specific kind of support and as we will see, it is best to tell your wife or girlfriend the type of support you want for a given situation. 

We’re Not Mind Readers
One of the key points of both studies is the fact that neither men nor women are mind readers.  That is to say, communication is paramount to any romantic relationship, much less any relationship.  In order to figure out what type of support your partner needs or to signal the type of support you may need, it is necessary to communicate with your partner.  Here are a few simple steps that you can take in order to communicate your supportive needs to your partner and vice-versa. 

First and foremost, ask for what you want.  Throw your pride aside and just ask your partner for support, no matter what kind of support you are seeking.  You might be surprised to find that your partner will do their best to help.

Second, show your partner what you want by doing the same for them.  Show them the kind of support (or variation) that you would like to receive when the time comes that you need support. 

Third, keep up on your negotiating skills.  Remember, even when it comes to support, you may have to negotiate for the type of support that you crave. 

Finally, keep an open mind about giving and receiving support.  We’re all different and require different kinds of support, no matter how universal a situation or problem may be. 

Sources:
Sciencedaily.com
Discovery.com