MFM: The Best Guy Advice Ever!By Matthew Stefanson [Message From Mars]
|
||
|
What’s the most lasting advice Message From Mars has imparted? Matthew Stefanson takes a look back.  These are the shiniest pebbles in the pile people. If you're going to read something, read this. Stay Broken Up It's very sad when relationships break up. At least it seems that way for six months to a year, but it's actually not a terribly negative thing. Don't get me wrong, being dumped sucks—it's one of the worst things that can happen to a guy—but there's no reason to let your emotions and depression push you back into a relationship that already failed once. Every couple that has broken up in the history of the universe broke up for one reason: they were too frustrated to deal with it anymore. They had had enough of each other, or at least one party had, and they made a decision to stop it. That was a good choice, because you had a reason. The thing is, that reason doesn't go away just because you start to miss them when they're gone. The relationship will be the same after you get back together, because that's how it works. Love Is An Action Loving someone isn't like being in a coma or regulating your body temperature; it requires your active participation. The second you stop being a part of the mechanism that makes your relationship work, it will grind to a halt. It's a two-party system—maybe more if you're a lucky and incredibly mature person—that doesn't work when one person is pulling all the weight. More than that, you have to actively care for it. People settle into comfortable ruts and forget to do the things that were exciting when they first started dating. You probably still have all the same feelings and the same desire to make your partner happy, but that doesn't mean anything if you're not motivated to continue your good behaviour. Think about the things you did for her when you first started dating and if your performance has tapered off at all, ask yourself why. Don't Fight... ...or at last make up after you do. There is no sure killer of relationships that quite compares to seething resentment. It's so important to resolve things completely so that they don't come back to haunt you later. This is made all the more true by the fact that complaints and grudges only grow over time. Even little things can grow and gain strength if you let them sit for too long. You can give it a day or two, it's actually a really good idea, but you do have to confront the issue and make sure everyone and everything have been forgiven, if not forgotten. Sex IS A Competition The bad news is that you have to be on point. Your game has to be fresh and you have to roll into the bedroom with a plan and execute. However, luckily for you, it's a team sport. You're working with your lady to create a sexual dynamic. You probably won't have great sex right away—that's beyond likelihood—but if you work at it, you will graduate to a level of aptitude that will enrich both of your sexual experiences. It's a matter of standards; if you maintain them you will grow to have better and better sex. Perfect Truths There is a shortage of perfect truths in the world, so that makes any that even approach perfect all the more valuable. These theories have been compiled over years of considering and experiencing the craziness that we put ourselves through in the pursuit of a lasting relationship. |
||
|
||
