Message From Mars: Bad Reasons To Break Up

By Matthew Stefanson
[Message From Mars]
Are you using one of these excuses to justify a breakup?  Matthew Stefanson gives guys some food for thought.
There are so many good reasons to break up with someone that the sheer number sometimes confuses us and we make a mistake.  It's pretty easy to convince yourself that you're in the wrong relationship for any of a thousand reasons of false logic.  Everyone has doubts about their relationships and if we all acted on the first inkling of discontent, no one would ever get to have a fairy tale wedding and a summary divorce.

That's why we're going to write a few words on the subject this week.  Sarah, over in her gynocentric column, View From Venus, will be outlining a few of the bad reasons for gals to break up with their fellas.  Here in the strong, masculine Message From Mars, I will be trying to stop all of the men out there from making horrible, horrible decisions.  Just like last week and the week before that...

You're Bored

A very wise man once said that love is an action, not a state of being.  The false belief held by most of society is that once you find the person you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with, you no longer have to make any effort.  Hollywood has told us that our soul mate will be a source of inspiration and harmonious joy with no end in sight.  Hollywood also gave us a series of Meatballs movies, which told nothing but lies about the frequency of voyeuristic breasts at summer camp.  You can't trust that lie factory.

Love isn't something that takes care of itself; it's not even something that survives particularly well outside of a controlled environment.  It's like a houseplant or an aquarium.  If you don't take corrective action, it will fall into disrepair.  This is why you can't just ditch out of a relationship whenever you start feeling a little bored.  You have a responsibility to be a part of the machinery and not just riding along on whatever momentum you have left over from the honeymoon.

You're obligated to, at the very least, put in an effort to resurrect the passion in your relationship.

You're Attracted To Someone Else

The thing about green grass is that it's everywhere.  You can't step outside without running across a bevy of beautifully manicured lawns—which are actually women if the metaphor has escaped you.  There is always going to be someone turning your head, no matter who you're already involved with.  I'm sure Ashton Kutcher does a few double takes every day on Sunset Blvd. and he's on his way home to Demi Moore.

Just being attracted to someone else isn't reason enough to break up with your girlfriend or wife.  Being in love with someone else?  Well that's a different story altogether.  It's harder to recover from being totally smitten with someone else than it is to deal with physically lusting after another woman.  In that case, you may have reason to end your relationship since you're already committing what couples therapists call “an affair of the heart.”  If you're no longer interested in the person you're with and it doesn't have anything to do with you wanting to stick it in another woman, then you do have a valid reason to break up.
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