Message From Mars: What Men Think Of Ogling

By Matthew Stefanson
[Message From Mars]
Do men enjoy being ogled?  Matthew Stefanson looks at the issue from the mind of men.
It is my understanding that women have a serious problem when it comes to being ogled.  Men, as it turns out, have wandering eyes and a compulsion to survey.  That's too bad.  But it does give lady comedians an easy, “I'm up here” kind of joke.  Take the good with the bad I say, but is it always bad?  Probably, but who knows what really goes on in the mind of the opposite sex?

That's why we're going to spend a little time talking about the issue this week.  Over in Sarah's column, View From Venus, she'll be explaining all of womankind's feelings on the issue and here in Message From Mars, we will be explaining to all of the ladies out there what men think about being judged like a piece of meat and about being the judge.

It's A Good Thing

First of all, people are attracted to attractive things.  The advertising industry thrives off of this idea, so if you're walking down the street, looking good and you notice a lot of men noticing that you're looking good, it's probably a good thing.  Your advertising campaign is working well.

Most women say something like, “I don't dress this way to be attractive.  I do it because I like to.”  That's totally great; you should dress up, everyone should.  But just because you don't intend to attract attention, doesn't mean that you can be upset when your appearance warrants it.  That's the point of being attractive, isn't it?  To appear attractive to other people?

Even if you don’t appreciate the attention, you don't have to feel threatened by it.  Men whose heads are turned by an attractive lady aren't plotting against her better virtues.  They're probably not even fantasizing about anything elaborate.  It's just a constant critique of the world around us that we can't turn off.  You do the same thing, admit it.

It's A Problem We're Having

The problem is that a lot of men still think it's their macho prerogative to do it.  They think that it's a signifier of their masculinity to leer at attractive women and they interpret it as a signal of something that it isn't.  Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with the act, but when you take it up as your duty to be boorish, it's very wrong.  Of course, with the looks often come the catcalls and unwanted advances.  Yet another of the unfortunate liberties that men take because of their antique ideas of masculinity.
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