Back to Basics: Hone Your Flirting Techniques

By Jenny Ferguson
[Singled Out]
Do you have the skill for advanced flirting?  Jenny Ferguson gives you a crash course.
There are a few skills that singles need to keep up on—to hone—or else.  Without these skills, a single’s life can be bleak.  It can be bleak and very lonely.  So if you’re ready to revamp your lifestyle, go back to the metaphorical classroom and practice these essential life skills for singles.

Here they are in plain and simple language.  Skill number one:  Learn how to smile, laugh and flirt with the best of them.  Skill number two, which nobody can really help you master but yourself is the art of laughing at yourself.  We’re going to focus on flirting and after a while learning how not to take yourself so seriously will start to come naturally.

Flirting Basics

Before you can learn to refine your flirting, you’ll need to work on these basics.  While it’s not imperative that you ace the basics before you get out into the real world and get your flirt on, it helps to be aware of them.

Appear to be comfortable in your own skin.  Okay, it’s a reality in the world we live in that very few people are truly absolutely 100 per cent happy with their bodies.  But you don’t have to be 100 per cent happy with all your imperfections in order to flirt well.  You just have to appear to be comfortable in your own skin.  Don’t let your imperfections rule your life and control your body language.

Be open, approachable and friendly.  No arms crossed over your chest or eyes downcast.  And be sure to smile.  Carry that smile through from your mouth to your eyes.

Finally, flirting is supposed to be fun.  It’s supposed to be fun.  Remember that when you take yourself out into the world.

The Next Steps:  Intermediate Flirting

If you’re ready to move on from the basics, you can start thinking about the next steps, which are about body language, laughter and a little bit of mystery.

Body language is something that we all use, often without knowing that we’re doing it, to communicate with each other without the messiness of words.  The good news is that you can learn to read and control body language.  For starters, keep your body language open.  Open signals include:  turning your body towards the person you’re talking to, keeping your elbows away from your body, uncrossing your legs and leaning forward just a little.  Open body language allows people around you to feel more positive about you just because your body is giving open signals.

I am a firm believer in the power of laughter in life in general and in flirting.  If you polled the men and women around you, having a good sense of humour and being able to make a potential partner laugh would rank among the top five things that singles want in a partner.  So when you’re flirting, it’s great to show the man or woman you’re flirting with that you have that quality.  Here’s when laughing at yourself comes in really handy.

The final aspect of flirting that you can work on is bringing a little bit of mystery to the table.  Remember, mystery doesn’t equate to lying about the kind of person you are.  Mystery is about holding a little bit of yourself back.  Smiling instead of answering a question can sometimes add a little bit of mystery to an exchange, deferring your answer.
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