View From Venus: Be A Better Lover, For Men

By Sarah Stefanson
[View From Venus]
Which body part of hers should you reacquaint yourself with?  Sarah Stefanson shares the inside scoop on pleasuring a woman.
Last week our male readers got some advice on how to be better lovers from my colleague, Matthew, over in Message From Mars.  This week he’s speaking to the ladies, offering them the inside scoop on what they can do to better please their men.  Similarly, last week we covered how women could improve their lovemaking skills here in View From Venus, while this week, I’m talking to the men out there, giving them some gems of wisdom on pleasuring their ladies.

Get Reacquainted

If you’ve ever read a sex column or watched a late night Showcase series, you should know by now that the clitoris is the most important body part when it comes to a woman’s sexuality.  Most women don’t orgasm from penetration alone, which means the clit should definitely be involved in your bedroom technique.

First and foremost, let’s make sure we’re in the same place.  Put your finger on the spot where you think your girl’s clitoris is located.  It’s at least one centimetre away from there, trust me.  Get your face down between her legs in a well-lit room and pinpoint the man in the boat once and for all.

Next, remember that the clitoris is an incredibly sensitive little organ.  There’s a reason it lives in that little hood of skin.  If it were exposed all the time, it would be over-stimulated and it would start causing pain instead of pleasure.  So take it easy down there.  Don’t attack the clit with crazy pressure and speed right off the bat.  Use your tongue first.

Get Vocal

Start making some noise.  This applies equally to the sounds you make in the bedroom during the action and the words you use to discuss your sex life before and after.  Some of the most satisfying sex I’ve ever had was with men who knew how make sounds—moans, groans, sighs, laughs, anything that indicates pleasure—as well as using the right words in the bedroom and out.  Use your sounds to indicate when she’s doing something just right.  When she can clearly tell how you feel instead of having to guess, she’s more likely to do the things you like again.

You should also be open to talking about your sex life with your girl.  The best way to become a better lover after all is to ask what she wants and express what does it for you.
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