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View From Venus: Be A Better Lover, For Women

By Sarah Stefanson

[View From Venus]

What lesson do women have to unlearn when it comes to sex? Sarah Stefanson has some tips for women who want to be better in the bedroom.

Sex is an essential part of a romantic relationship. Unfortunately, once many people get into long-term committed relationships, they tend to get lazy in the bedroom. They slip into their routines and stop experimenting. They take their partners for granted and stop thinking of them as sexual beings. If they have kids, the pressures of being mommy and daddy everyday can take a major toll on their sex life.

Whatever the excuse, a lacking sex life can seriously damage a relationship. Which is why we’re devoting a little column space this week to advising our readers on how to become better lovers. Matthew has some wisdom for the men out there in Message From Mars and I’ll be sharing some insight with the women in View From Venus.

Loosen Up

Women are not taught that it’s alright to be sexual creatures and many women spend a lot of time and effort denying their carnal urges. They pretend their fantasies don’t exist so their partners see them as good girls, the kind you take home to mom. Trust me, you’re not doing anyone any favours by keeping your real sexual personality under wraps, least of all you. So loosen up and let your wild side free! If your man is worth his salt, he’ll rejoice at your newfound enthusiasm. If he’s freaked out that you’re challenging his Madonna/whore complex, he’s doesn’t deserve your new fervor in the bedroom. Dump him and find someone who will appreciate it.

Give And Receive

You’ve got to learn how to please your man. It’s your duty as a loving partner to educate yourself on what turns him on and how to do it. Of course there is another piece to a happy sexual whole and that is that you deserve reciprocation. This means that you may have to occasionally ask for what you want. Men are not known for being remarkably perceptive and your subtle hints may not be getting through to him. If you want more oral sex, ask for it. You can do this outside of the bedroom or during the act if you make it sound like a sexy request (or a command if that sort of thing works for you both). If you really don’t like a certain position, tell him you want to take it off the menu. Sometimes you have to be a little more aggressive to get what you want. Just be careful not to step over the line and become a bitch about it.

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