Message From Mars: Be A Better Lover, For Men

By Matthew Stefanson
[Message From Mars]
Learn how to combat the reputation men have in the bedroom.  Matthew Stefanson advises men on doing their best between the sheets.
A lot of relationships, especially those between young people, are based upon good sex.  When you're young and in love, you think half with your heart and half with your hormones.  So it's in your best interests to at least be good at it, but that's not as easy as it sounds.  You don't just show up to this party with everything you need.  It's an evolving process.

The truth is that some people get lost in the bedroom.  Their clothes come off and they don't know which way is up, where they're coming from or whose genitals they're touching.  This is a sad fact of life, but one that can be remedied with a little wise counsel.  That's why Sarah and I are spending our time this week explaining exactly how to be a good lover.  If you're a lady, head over to Sarah's column, View From Venus, to read her advice on how to improve your performance.  If you're a gent, read on.  This week in Message From Mars:  How To Be A Better Lover.

Review

The most effective killer of a sex life is the slow decay of time.  You get sloppy and lazy the longer you're in a relationship and you think that you have each other's beats worked out.  This may be true, but you start to ignore the things that you've learned after a while.  That's why it's so important to constantly evaluate.  Think about what sex was like when you first got together and what's changed since then.  What have you stopped doing?  What's disappeared from your sexual repertoire and why?  It might not even be laziness, just complacency, but whatever it is, you have to re-evaluate and get back on your game.  Sex is important.  It keeps you out of couples therapy.

Effort

The most notorious deficiency of the male sex is their tendency to neglect.  Unlike most of the world's unfair reputations, however, this one is true a lot of the time.  It's a well-publicized secret that men can be lazy, boorish and selfish in bed.  You've seen this before on thousands of prime time sitcoms.

So put forth the effort.  Show up willing to actually get into the game for something other than immediate satisfaction.  Of course, if you're going to try harder, you're going to have to do some research first.
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