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Style Sins Of The College Man

By Matthew Stefanson

[Men's Fashion]

Which two style sins always go together? Matthew Stefanson has advice for the college man on wardrobe issues.

People should be able to dress themselves properly, but this is yet another of the huge failings of our public school system. Just like how they should have a class in high school in which you just have to sit and read the newspaper every day or learn how to do your taxes, they should have one where they beat you until you stop wearing ridiculous, ugly clothing. That would make a much prettier and better informed world for everyone.

But sadly, our education system isn't prepared to step in and educate all of us, so we have to do it ourselves. That's why we're going to devote some of our digital ink this week to educating men. If you can't tell what you're doing wrong, I'll let you know.

Updates

If I see one more guy leaving the library on campus in a pair of Dockers that his dad bought in 1981, I might break down and cry. As a guy who destroys a pair of jeans every 8 weeks—and I mean good and destroyed—I have no idea how a pair of pants could ever last long enough to become 23 years out of style. They have to be sealed in a time capsule or locked away at the Smithsonian in one of those humidity-controlled rooms just to stop them from falling apart over time. I have 8-month-old t-shirts that are basically a collection of threads that cover me Hulk-style, so how can you possibly have a 30-year-old pair of Levi Strauss Dockers?

You have to be constantly evaluating and refreshing your wardrobe. You have to actually throw stuff out when you buy new stuff or you'll hit laundry day and all you'll have left is your stirrup sweats and your windbreaker/sweater from 1991. Of course, there's something to be said for retro fashion—tight jeans are back from a few decades of vacation and plaid has made its way onto the scene again—but you can't just keep everything in the hope that it will re-emerge. Give it away, then buy it again later for a buck; that's what thrift stores are for.

Baseball Caps

I'm not sure if some guys realize it, but it’s the middle of winter, we haven't seen the sun in months and they're still wearing their ball caps. Guys, you're not at a picnic or a Yankees game. You can feel free to take that thing off.

A baseball cap is not a fashion accessory. Hell, a fedora classifies as formal wear and it’s only barely tolerable. What you're doing is declaring to everyone that you're too lazy to even get a haircut that isn't guaranteed to look awful so you throw a hat over it and head out on the town.

The thing is that you don't even have to have a nice haircut; you can just roll out a look that is simple and easy. You don't need to put product in your hair to be ready for the day. You just have to have hair. Just go out in the world and live without letting everyone know that you're a Blue Jays fan.

Here's your strategy: go to a hairdresser, take off your hat and get a haircut, then throw out the hat. It's a practical issue, really. One day you'll have to be a grownup and you won't be able to walk your daughter down the aisle in a ball cap.

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