The Nature Of Monogamy: Part 3By Kevin Fleming [Relationships]
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Why is monogamy good for men? Kevin Fleming takes a look at fidelity from a male point of view.  Usually when we hear the word infidelity, we conclude that it was the man who was at fault. Of course, as seen in the first part of the series, men are statistically more likely to commit an infidelity in a relationship or marriage. I’m sure many women out there have busted their partner checking out another woman while out in public or inspecting the TV screen rather closely when an attractive woman makes an appearance. With that said, I’m sure many women have wondered if men are preprogrammed to be polygamous instead of monogamous. As we will see though, men may be more monogamous than women by nature, which is an idea that may turn your world upside down. Why Do Men Cheat? Most psychologists believe that the number one reason why men commit infidelities is because of their instinctual drive to produce as many offspring as possible. As we know, it is much easier for a man to reproduce than a woman and when you combine that aspect with an instinctual desire to produce as many offspring as possible, you have a recipe for infidelity in potentially any man. Instinct aside, there are other reasons why men cheat, mainly because of their current mates. Unfortunately, the longer a relationship or marriage lasts, the more likely one or both partners will start to lose the physical appeal that they once had. In the case of women, some may have gained weight or have stopped taking care of themselves like they did before the relationship began. If that occurs, even if the man has done so as well, chances are that his mind will start to wander towards women that he sees as more attractive. Another reason why men tend to wander is due to the fact that their wife or girlfriend has turned out to be a nag. If a guy’s mate constantly nags him about anything under the sun, chances are she is slowly working to push him into the arms of a woman who isn’t a nag. Also, it is widely known that men crave sex just as much, if not more, than women. If a man is stuck in a relationship with a woman who cannot keep up with his sexual desires or at least try to keep up, he will go looking for a woman who can. Plus, a vast majority of men view sex and love as two very different things. That is, having sex with a woman who isn’t his wife or girlfriend doesn’t necessarily mean that he is in love with her, but rather, he is just out for sex and nothing more. Of course, women tend to view this in other terms. Finally, men, like women, tend to cheat because of an unhealthy relationship. If his wife or girlfriend does not understand him or make him happy from an emotional point of view, he is going to stray eventually. Men Benefit From Monogamy With that title, I’m sure many readers probably think that I have gone off my rocker. How can a man benefit from sleeping with just one woman all of his life? Isn’t a man’s instinctual goal to “spread his seed” as much as possible so that his genes live on? If we were living in the world 50,000 years ago that thinking probably would have been correct, as every day was a matter of life and death, hence a man never knew how long he had to pass on his genes to the next generation. But it is a different world today, a world that is dominated by civil society. There are some societies where polygamy is an accepted practice, but for the most part, especially in the Western world, monogamy is the norm. Many men think that life would be good in a polygamous society, but in reality they would be hurting for women. Only the biggest, strongest, most attractive men would get all the women in a polygamous society. But in a monogamous society, men of any size and attractiveness level have an opportunity to find a mate, even those that they would not have a chance with in a polygamous society. |
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