View From Venus: How To Recover From A Fight

By Sarah Stefanson
[View From Venus]
Be Silly

Once the big issues have been hashed out, there will still be lingering negativity hanging around and this is the really hard part of coming down from a fight.  You want it to be like it was before the blow-up, but feelings have been hurt and it’s hard to switch back into loving mode.  Try doing something spontaneous and silly to lighten the mood.  Make a self-deprecating joke or start a pillow fight.  Anything fun will cut the tension and help you get back on the right path to happy coupledom again.  Just make sure that your partner is on the same page or he might take your pillow in the face as a declaration of war.

Make Up Sex

The best part of any argument is the make up sex.  Once you’ve worked through your problem and are starting to remember why you love the person you were squared off against, you may be filled with an urge to culminate the fight in the bedroom.  If you still have some irritation to work out, some good, rough sex should take care of the last of it.  If you’re already back in lovey dovey mode, post-fight lovemaking can be truly passionate and connecting.  The fight will be a distant memory once you work things out in bed.

Round 1

If the fight is about something that can’t be solved by a heated debate or if it’s too serious to handle on your own, you might consider visiting a couples’ therapist to get some professional assistance with your troubles.  Going to therapy with your significant other is not a sign that your relationship is doomed.  Sometimes you just need a little extra help working through something.  Human beings and our emotions are infinitely complicated and occasionally it helps to have someone trained in the art of psychotherapy to ease you through it.

Have something to say?  Tell Sarah about it at sarah (at) thesoko (dot) com.
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