REVEALED: How To Recover From A Fight

By Matthew Stefanson
[Message From Mars]
Who should be the first one to apologize after a fight?  Matthew Stefanson tells the men out there how to cool down after an argument.
Ladies and gentlemen come to blows a fantastic amount of the time.  With something as complicated as a relationship, you're lucky if you get away with one major blowout a month.  There is an art to fighting with your partner, not just in the application of slings and arrows, but also in the skillful maneuvers that you have to use to make everyone involved forgive and forget all of the nasty things that were said.

No Ellipsis

The most important thing to remember is that fights need to have a beginning and an end.  They're not something that you can start and then put away for later.  If you've begun something you'd best see it through to its conclusion or you will have a long time to stew over what has been done and said.  And that is not a good thing.

You want to try to resolve everything as soon as possible, though sometimes that does mean waiting for the dust to settle.  After an argument, especially a really heated one, you may need some time to cool down and look at the situation from a different angle and so might she.  Take a breath and calm down and really try to see the situation from the other's perspective.

But don't wait for too long.  The more time you have to think these things over without actually talking about them, the more you'll start to have doubts and insecurities about the whole thing.  Don't leave a fight in a 'To Be Continued'.

Apologies Are In Order

Most of the time you just have to swallow your pride and give in for the sake of the relationship.  Or at least one of you does.  Your average lovers tiff isn't worth holding grudges over and if it's something trivial, which I can all but guarantee it is, just apologize and try to move on.

It's important to remember that it doesn't matter whose fault it was, you can make the first move and get the forgiveness ball rolling.  Just break that ice and you two can go back to living that blissful life that will persist until your next altercation.

The health and happiness of your relationship is more important than your pride, unless of course something absolutely unforgivable was done to you.  If you've been genuinely wronged then it's not your place to make the in-roads.
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