Bachelor's Degree: Dating A Single MomBy Tyler Kalmakoff [Bachelor's Degree]
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The formidable task of dating a single mom can easily scare off the average bachelor. Tyler Kalmakoff shows you what to be ready for.  Single moms are often viewed as people who have had children because of carelessness. This is not always the case. Some are divorced, some are widowed and some were abandoned by the man responsible for their child. My mom was widowed and left with a seven-year-old daughter and a two-year-old son. She never dated another man again for the 17 years until her death at 52. Since reaching adulthood, I’ve dated single moms on two separate occasions. I thought it was my destiny—to fall in love with a single mom and change her and her child’s life forever—you know, help them out. The easiest part of the scenarios for me was the kids, believe it or not. Though the kids may hate you at first, they may very well be the least of the burdens involved in dating a single mom. Besides, the woman doesn’t expect you to be Mr. Dad right away. Women are acutely aware that there is still a phase called dating and they usually go out of their way to make getting to know them as easy and as painless as possible. With that said, the experience is far from painless if you’re not ready. She’s Not Over Her Ex Forget about the kids hating you. Actually, forget about the kids altogether. They should be the least of your worries when entering into a relationship with a single mother. There is other baggage you need worry about first—like her ex. If he’s in the picture, chances are they share custody, which means she sees him almost every single day. Chances are, whether he’s in the picture or not, she still loves him in some way and still wants him to be a part of their child’s life. This can be excruciating to you, the common bachelor, if you’re not ready for the heartache and jealousy that comes along with dating a mom. You’re Not Her Number One The baggage goes well beyond her ex. The fact that she has more obligations than you do means you’re lower down on her priority list than a typical fresh-faced girlfriend—far lower—somewhere between her kid and paying the bills. What this means is you’ll have to be more compassionate and sensitive to her needs, more understanding and accepting of her time and energy limitations. You’ll have to plan dates far in advance, allowing her time to find a babysitter. And if you stay in for the night, she often won’t have the required sexual prowess to satisfy your needs by the time her kid finally falls asleep. |
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