How To Deal With That Single Feeling

By Jenny Ferguson
[Singled Out]
How can you avoid feeling sorry for your single self?  Jenny Ferguson has some motivation for you.
Everyone who has been single for more than a few weeks starts to get this feeling and men and woman who have been single for months know it well.  It’s a feeling that sneaks up on you when you’re watching a movie on a Wednesday night or walking your dog through the park as the snow falls down gently.  It keeps you up at night.  You lay in bed and someone you’ve been thinking about lately flashes through your mind.  Sometimes it’s an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, other times it’s your first crush or that certain someone you fancy at work.  That single feeling—one of the many side effects of the unofficial single syndrome—promotes sleepless nights and bad dreams.  That single feeling is haunting and it can really get you down and do some real harm (other than the visible bags under your eyes) if you’re not careful.

A Little Loneliness

Singles want to be coupled—or at the very least the majority of them do.  Going through life alone isn’t what most of us want.  The “I want to have someone to love” feeling creeps up on even the happiest, most self-assured singles every once in a while.  Maybe it’s the holiday season or the evening of February 14th or maybe the feeling just showed up one day when you weren’t expecting it and it moved in.  When a single man or woman finds him or herself wrestling with that single feeling, life can get tough really quickly.  The question is:  How should singles deal with that single feeling so they get through it without falling into a funk?

Don’t Feel Sorry For Yourself

It’s probably good to feel that you want to be coupled up when you’re single, especially if you’ve been single for a while or your last relationship ended badly and you’re still reeling from the last time you were in madly, deeply in love.  The single feeling—that moment when we really, really, really want to be part of a couple—reminds us that we’re ready for a new relationship and it can help to send a single person out into the world ready and looking for a date.

It all goes wrong when that single person starts to feel sorry for him or herself.  When the feeling starts to lean towards depression, then you’re in trouble.  A little self-pity never hurt anyone, but when the single feeling attacks and has you devaluing your self-worth with thoughts of the “I don’t deserve to be happy” variety, then you need to snap out of it quick.  Try talking to a friend—that person that always makes you laugh when you need it.  If that doesn’t help, visit your family doctor before the single’s funk gets out of control and invades the rest of your life.
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