Message From Mars: Games Men PlayBy Matthew Stefanson [Message From Mars]
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His refusal to commit is just another sign of the game he’s playing. Matthew Stefanson reveals the things men do that confuse women.  Our motivations for this are varied. Some people just aren't good with intimacy and have to try to sabotage it. Some of us are just ignorant and clumsy, others are malicious and working some sort of con game. But whatever the motivation is, it happens. So this week we're going to spend some time illuminating the issue. Sarah, over in the View From Venus section of our website, will be detailing some of the games that women play and I will be itemizing the misdeeds of men. This week on Message From Mars: Games Men Play. The Dummy Gag Men are ignorant and stupid a lot of the time. We can be downright idiotic about almost everything in life, but we're not quite as dense as we must seem. When something is wrong in a relationship, everyone knows about it. At least in some small corner at the back of their lizard mind, they should get wind that something is up. There are too many signals and too many delicate factors in the equilibrium of a relationship for someone—anyone—to be completely clueless. But men will take advantage of the fact that people think we're idiots to hide our cognizance. The reason we perform this idiot pantomime is that we don't have to deal with a problem immediately if we just pretend that we're unaware of it. If we make like we don’t know about the problem, we won't have to confront it for a while. The trouble with this is that the problem eventually becomes much messier and far more explosive. No Limits A man's principal romantic fear is to be locked down in one particular relationship with no chance of escape. Used to be that we had a biological imperative to breed and mate with as many women as possible. Once upon a time we did it for the good of the species, now we're just used to it. We don't want to give up that chance, which is why every man in your dating past has probably given you the same cock and bull story about labels. In a man's mind, until you call a relationship a relationship, it's still just an acquaintance. Therefore, you can sleep around and do all sorts of shady things while not betraying the spirit of the relationship. At least in theory. In reality, you don't get to sleep around just because you haven't talked about it. If you talk about it and get her approval, then maybe you get to have some extraneous affairs. |
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