TheSoko.com - View From Venus: Games Women Play

View From Venus: Games Women Play

By Sarah Stefanson

[View From Venus]

Lose at this game and you’ll just have to play another later on. Sarah Stefanson shares the mind games you should expect from women.

The dating world is full of games. Sure, it might be a whole lot easier if we all just said what we meant and didn’t play around with each other’s feelings, but if that was the case, we would cease to have fodder for romantic comedy scripts and our lives would be so blissful that we’d all get very bored. Women have a particular list of games that only they can get away with playing and many of us are masters of the game. Even those of us who consider ourselves honest, independent women fall victim to the urge to mess with the minds of men.

This week at The Soko, I’ll take a look at some of the games women play in relationships, while Matthew will write about the things men do to frustrate and confound women in Message From Mars.

Guess The Problem

When a woman is blatantly pouting, storming around the house, sighing dramatically or banging the dishes about in the sink, the logical thing to do is ask her what’s wrong. Just don’t expect a logical answer. “Nothing,” she might say, “I’m fine.” Upon receiving this answer, you may accept it at face value and believe that there is truly nothing wrong, but the second you turn back to the TV, the pouting, storming, sighing and banging will start up again.

Your girl wants you to guess what is wrong and, failing that, she wants you to devote your total attention to getting her to open up. She is doing this for one of two reasons. She may be acting passive aggressive because, as a female, she hasn’t been encouraged to be forthright with her thoughts and feelings. The other option is that you screwed up in some way you don’t realize and she’s not going to make it easy on you by just coming out and telling you what you did wrong.

The best thing to do when faced with the Guess The Problem game is turn off the TV, get her to sit down with you and tell her you’ve noticed she’s upset. Sometimes all it takes to end the game is your undivided attention.

The $64,000 Question

Many a boyfriend has fallen victim to the infamous question, “Do you think she’s hot?” When your girl utters this inquiry it’s pretty much guaranteed that what she actually means is, “Do you think she’s hotter than me?” The game is not entirely her fault. Women are incredibly competitive with each other. While the traditional clash between males generally resolves itself through sports or fistfights, women find much more hurtful and cruel ways to get a leg up on each other. Of course, her question may stem from a deep-seated sense of insecurity. She is essentially asking for reassurance that she’s beautiful and the one you want. It’s pretty harmless to indulge her need for confirmation of your feelings for her every once in a while, but if the girl constantly needs you to tell her how amazing she is, it’ll get old fast.

Incidentally, the right answer to The $64,000 Question is always, “Not as hot as you.”

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