My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months now and we have great sex, but it's the same old thing and I want to do something to spruce it up a little.  I need some ideas.  Can you help me?

-Toni in Georgia

Dear Toni,

It sounds from your letter that you are in a rut and you know that.  Spicing up your sex life is a great way to keep the relationship fresh.

Because people’s sexual preferences differ a great deal, what appeals to me will not necessarily appeal to you.  So, I would like to offer several suggestions to get you started.

Sexual Boundaries

Before I get into it, it’s important for you to know your own sexual boundaries.  What do you like and dislike?  What turns you on and what shuts you off?  Some major influencers here are your belief system, your religion, your values, etc.  So be clear on where you stand.

Some people allow themselves to be pressured into sexual acts, which are physically and/or emotionally uncomfortable.  Why?  Because they fear their partner will not remain with them if they don’t cooperate.  Let's get this clear.  Do not compromise your own boundaries.  If you do, you will find yourself resenting your partner and in the end, you will sacrifice the relationship.

Once you have that figured out, take some of these ideas and put them to good use.

A Sex Store

Are you open to visiting a sex boutique?  I’m sure you know of you one or have seen some around town.  Or you may already be a customer.  If not, just ask a close friend if they know of any.  Then when the time is right, pay a visit.

Now that you are aware of your own sexual boundaries, see if there’s anything in the store that you could use to spice things up.  Be creative and most of all, have fun!

Some people have a preconceived notion that the only things sex stores sell, are vibrators.  Wrong!  And if that’s what you think, then it’s definitely time for a visit.  From oils and scented candles, to board games and beyond, there's a lot more there than you think.  How about using the oils to give your partner a fabulously sensual massage?  Or light some candles to set the mood.  You can't get the job done if you don't have the right tools, so get shopping.