Message From Mars: How To Get In His Good Books

By Matthew Stefanson
[Message From Mars]
What do men wish women would take care of every once in a while?  Matthew Stefanson tells the ladies how to make their guy happy.
We've all been guilty of negligence at some point in our lives.  You're in a relationship and everything is going fine, so fine in fact that you forget to do all of those little things that keep relationships together in the first place.  It happens and when it does, it's important that you have a few tricks up your sleeve in order to remove your worthless hide from the doghouse.  Odds are, they are things you used to do, but then forgot about as the progression of time worked away at your enthusiasm.  It doesn't mean your love has faded, just your quick memory.

Over in the View From Venus section of our fine e-publication, Sarah is doling out all kinds of helpful advice for the fellows of the world who want to be in better standings with their ladies.  If, however, you are a lady who is in the disfavour of your fellow, read on.  This week, in Message From Mars, I will be explaining some of the ways that you can get back in his good books.

Take Him Out

Sometimes all you need is a gesture that says, “I still think about you and care as much as I always have.”  Part of how relationships work, despite all of the efforts of suffragettes and women’s lib organizers around the globe, is that men feel a lot of pressure to make moves.  The assumption that we make is that we have to be the proactive party in the relationship.  If we don't take you out to the movies, it will never happen.  So why not take the reigns of chivalry and go out of your way to treat your fellow.

Wrest control from his misguided, overburdened shoulders and do something special.  Plan a night out, doing whatever it is that he likes to do or that you like to do together.  The danger in planning a night out for him is that you have to be careful to not encroach on the things that are special because he does them separately.  For instance, if he enjoys going out to watch a game with his friends or alone, and it's a special ritual of his that is actually contingent upon you not being there, don't trespass.  It's just as important to the health of the relationship that you have lives outside of each other as it is to have a life together.  Who knows, it might turn out that some distance is actually the solution that you were looking for all along.

Shake Up Your Sex Life

Men are ― brace yourselves because this is at once a fact so profound and so cliché that it is liable to knock your socks off right across the room ― physical creatures.  I know, right?  I had never heard it outside of Dear Abby columns or comedy clubs before either, but it turns out that those funny men and that folksy lady were very, very correct.  Mostly, we express ourselves in a physical way.  Not a lot of talking goes on when we're together, at least not anything major.

Try something fresh.  Your bedroom behaviour is better known to you than to me, so you'll know what that means better than I do, but the important thing is that you reclaim the enthusiasm and spontaneity of your fledgling sexual days with your man.  Of course, there's always a chance that you just need to get back to basics.

As relationships drag on, the sex becomes more mechanical as you get more comfortable with your partner and more confident in your ability to please him.  The problem with this is that you often stop trying as hard to get the job done with some style.  You may both get to the finale, but it's done with little fanfare.  Aim for the energy of your sexual salad days and try to accomplish the chest-heaving, inarticulate silences that you once shared together.
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