What Jealousy Is And How To Deal With ItBy Adrian Nadler [Relationships]
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 You could look at the single lifestyle and all the relationship types that come with it (open relationships, friends with benefits and casual hook-ups) as being a natural development of relationships where there are no children involved. Why deal with the jealousy inherent in monogamy when there’s nothing really at stake? It’s much more pleasurable and convenient to enjoy multiple partners, not have to worry about pregnancy and avoid all of the messy emotions involved. All of this is a way to deal with jealousy without really overcoming it. Open relationships, as well as some ‘exclusive’ ones, operate more on power than love. It’s a game of who loves the other less, because emotional involvement equates to possible devastation if you’re the one to get betrayed. This leads to behaviour like pre-emptive cheating, just so you can have an emotional trump card in case the relationship goes sour. That strategy works just fine for some people. Monogamy isn’t for everyone, but it’s sad when someone wants to settle down, marry and have kids, and they’ve never really had to deal with jealousy because they’ve never had to worry about trusting someone. The Simple Solution The answer to overcoming jealous emotions hinges on the connection between the two people involved. When there’s mutual trust and understanding, when there’s good honest communication and expression of emotions, you don’t have to worry about jealousy at all. A threatening situation might trigger an emotional response, but you’ll trust your partner and, in doing so, allow the jealousy to wash over you. At the same time, you can recognize it for what it is: just a signal that you care about that person and the bond you have with them. |
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