How to Deal With Unwanted AttentionBy Lilian Sue [Dating]
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Attention can be flattering, but what do you do when it crosses the line? Lilian Sue gives us a few tips on dealing with unwanted advances from the opposite sex.  I think that I’d be the first to agree that attention from the opposite sex is flattering. It makes you feel good, gives your ego a boost and, in my case, it sometimes flabbergasts me that a guy finds me attractive.However, it’s not all good attention. Someone physically unattractive, personally incompatible or some varying combination of both could have their affections directed towards you. No matter how they choose to express their feelings, it can still be a difficult process trying to turn them away. It’s often made more difficult depending on the situation as well. If the guy is someone you see often or even a friend, it’s probably not a good idea to burn that particular bridge. However, if the guy still isn’t getting the message, some drastic measures might have to be taken. Here are a few tips I’ve found that worked for me in the past to avoid unwanted affections. Be Honest This bit of advice is probably the most important piece you can ever receive when dealing with the opposite sex or anyone for that matter. While any attention is great, dragging it out and leading the other person on isn’t going to help either one of you. Inevitably, the other person is hurt emotionally and you are left feeling unsatisfied because the affection and attention you received wasn’t from the person you wanted it from. In such a situation, it’s best to tell the person as soon as possible that you don’t feel the same way. From personal experience, as much as you try to fool yourself into believing that eventually you can feel the same way about the guy, it doesn’t work that way. Be Blunt If the first approach doesn’t work, I’ve been known to use this next tactic quite a bit in the past. Being honest doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to lower the boom with the force of a sledgehammer, especially if you’re worried about burning bridges. There are times when letting the guy down gently is not going to work because people, in general, only hear what they want to hear. Having a gentle rejection may be all they need to redouble their efforts in order to change your mind. If you tell him point blank that you’re not interested, you’re doing one of two things: you’re repeating yourself in the hopes that the message will compute the second time and you’re clearly stating boundaries and serving notice that the next time he approaches you about the same thing, the gloves will come off. |
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