Need some advice from the experts?  Jenny Ferguson tells you which books are worth buying.While perusing the self-help section always seems a little embarrassing, sometimes it’s just a necessity.  Breakups and difficult relationship matters are a fact of life, so take some advice from the pros or just get a little perspective.  These are the top five relationship books, so pick up your library card and check one, or all of them, out!  Better yet, invest in your future relationships and purchase a copy for your bookshelf.

He’s Just Not That Into You

When this book came out in 2004, it caused quite a commotion, and frankly, it was worth it.  Women have this little problem:  they have a hard time reading men’s signals!  (But isn’t this just a worldwide problem?)

He’s Just Not That Into You is an easily accessible guide to signs that the man you’re interested in just might not return your interest.  The book says that he might like you, but honestly, if he isn’t behaving in the way you’d expect (ignoring your calls, lying to you about where he’s been, introducing you as his “friend”), he just might not be that into you.  Based on an episode of Sex and the City, this book reads like a snappy conversation between you and your girlfriends.

The best part about He’s Just Not That Into You is that it was co-written by a man.  While some blamed Greg Behrendt for betraying the secrets of his sex, women everywhere should thank him.  I have bought several copies of this book to give to my unlucky in love friends!

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

An instant classic:  the book was revolutionary in its time and is still absolutely pertinent today.  The title might throw you for a loop.  If we’re from different planets, how will we ever learn to get along?  Don’t worry, there is hope.

Touted as “the classic guide to understanding the opposite sex” this book belongs on everyone’s bedside table.  In the end, Men Are From Mars is about learning to communicate with your partner.  Once you’ve mastered communication, everything falls into place, and you can live happily ever after with your Martian or Venusian.

While this is the original (and may I say, the best), author John Gray has a barrage of Mars and Venus themed books.  Check out Mars & Venus in the Bedroom and Mars & Venus on a Date for more practical tips on communication between the sexes.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff… And It’s All Small Stuff

Okay, you got me, it’s not strictly a ‘relationship’ book; this is more of a life book.  But the philosophy contained within these pages will help you to find inner peace when it comes to your husband’s refusal to trim his nose hairs or your girlfriend’s inability to start a sentence without the word “like.”  Those little personal ticks that can drive one mad…if you let them.

I don’t know anyone who isn’t interested in “letting go of stress and worry.”  For one, less worry, less wrinkles.  But the lasting benefit is feeling better in your every day life.  Once you learn not to let the little things take over, suddenly they don’t even register.

You can apply these lessons to the dating world, to your long term relationship or to your marriage.  You can’t change other people, but you can learn to change how you react to them and the world around you.

Eat Pray Love

A rough divorce sends author Elizabeth Gilbert on a year of travel and reflection through Italy, India and Indonesia.  In Italy, she learns to savour life; in India, she finds a way to calm her inner voice and Indonesia brings her to her knees with a new relationship.

This memoir is a startling journey that will touch men and women alike, although to be fair, Gilbert talks to a seemingly female audience.  Anyone who has ever been in love and fallen too far in love, will find Eat Pray Love a guide to self-understanding.

How to Break Your Addiction to a Person

We’ve all heard of addictions to drugs and alcohol, but what about an addiction to a person?  It happens.  As with all addictions, one needs to recognize it and then call it quits.  This can prove a lot harder than it sounds.  This books helps to guide you through your addiction and helps you to recognize the signs of being addicted to your partner, rather than in love with him or her.  An unhealthy relationship can be as detrimental to your health as any other addiction.

While the ‘obsession’ period in a new relationship is delightfully dizzying, becoming addicted can take a toll on your life, personally and professionally.  Author and physiologist Howard M. Halpern’s book will be your 12-step program to relationship success.

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read your way to romance

Not all of life’s answers can be found in a book, but these ones should get you well on your way to understanding, and maybe healing, your relationships.  A little insight can make everything seem just a little better, less drastic.  After all, there are other fish in the sea, and maybe they will have read up on relationships too.