Choose Your Words Carefully

Like I mentioned before, starting off in an offensive manner will do nothing to help the situation.  When anyone feels as though they are being attacked, the most natural and common response is to jump right into defensive mode and attempt to pass the blame to the person doing the attacking.  When you’re upset about something in your relationship, it’s important to keep in mind that it’s the problem, not necessarily the person in front of you, that is causing you the pain.

The solution should not be to make the other feel your pain directly, but to explain how you’re feeling using your words.  Just the other day my boyfriend confessed that during a recent fight, he tried to make me feel what he was feeling, instead of dealing with the original issue that was raised.  This created a chaotic rage (and I mean rage) that is unbearable when caused by your other half.  My point is, try to work out what you want to say before you actually broach the topic.
 
Have A Calm Discussion

Finally, once you have chosen your words carefully (write them down if you need to - it seriously works), take a few deep breaths and say what you feel.  Don’t mask what you have to say with allusions or metaphors, be honest and direct.  I don’t want to build off the stereotypes of either gender, but ladies, we have a tendency to drop hints that guys just don’t get.  It’s not their fault--our veiled statements and sometimes misleading words can really make it hard.  I have a tendency of relying on my non-verbal actions to convey how I’m feeling and that too is a huge mistake.  The main thing here is that you need to discuss.  Don’t argue or blame, but just lay your cards out there, because if you can’t be honest with this person, chances are your biggest problem is not that he forgets to call when say he will…if you catch my drift.

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no pain no gain

No matter how many words of encouragement I put out there for you, I can’t promise that it won’t be hard.  Looking at someone you care about so much that you know cares about you too and trying to tell them they’re doing something “wrong” is incredibly heart-wrenching (at least for me).  Like the saying goes, what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger, so give honesty a shot.  Trust me when I say, if you make it through the rough patches, it’ll only make you appreciate their effort a million times more!