Recently a rather incendiary post appeared on The Soko’s Q&A from a woman who was concerned about her husband’s obsession with pornography. The question sparked responses from a woman who watches porn with her husband, a man who thinks it is perfectly normal and a church-goer who said that watching porn definitely equates to cheating in a relationship.

I have been considering writing an article about pornography and those who are addicted to it, for some time now, and the recent Q&A activity finally provoked me to start.  Interestingly, the points of view shared on the blog in question represent some of the most typical responses to the issue.  Many women are concerned about their husbands viewing pornography and some find it threatening to their relationship.  Others are able to incorporate it into their marriages and enjoy it themselves.  Single men inevitably have an entirely different view of pornography in general and don’t see the big deal about an attached man watching it.  Finally, there are the religious who almost without exception object to pornography and liken it to adultery.

The View from the Porn Store

I gained a unique perspective of pornography and the problems with it when I worked at an adult video and toy store for a year and a half.  My customers were generally of three types:  men who occasionally came in, men who were regular renters and couples who came in together.  The saddest ones were the regular customers, some of whom would come in twice a week like clockwork and rent at least four movies at a time.  They had literally seen every movie in the place and their tastes were increasingly bizarre and alternative.

Analyzing the Addiction

Like alcoholism, gambling or most other addictions, pornography becomes a problem when a person “needs” it to function.  An alcoholic can’t start his day without a beer, a gambling addict can’t walk past a casino without entering and a pornography addict can’t perform sexually without the visual aid.  It may start out innocently enough.  Perhaps they’ll rent a movie some night between girlfriends when they need a release.  For some it ends there, but for others the need for the stimulation of the movies increases and becomes uncontrollable.  Soon they are watching it every day and finding it difficult to maintain normal sexual relationships.