Love is in the air… but only until the reeking stench of divorce overpowers it, which in Hollywood usually wafts in around one year or so — three days if your name is Britney and you keep a scrubby mole rat called K-Fed in your basement. Wait, can you smell it? Yup, she’s overdue alright. And due again, apparently to pop out some more spawn of mole rat.

I’m getting distracted. We’re talking love here, aren’t we? Summer love! And who better to inspire those meaningless lust and sun-stroke fuelled relationships that only last long enough for your tan to fade than a bevy of beauties from Hollywood and beyond who all tied the noose — er knot — in the past year.

Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley

A.K.A. Mr. And Mrs. Tweeny-Bop CanRock.
Where: A Montecito, California estate with friends and family from Ontario.
When: July 15, 2006
Why: She needed a skater boy and he needed a high-profile rocker girl with more celebrity clout than his smush face could ever command. He’s an aspiring mole rat, you see.

What the?! Come on, Avril! Where were the black and white striped princess gloves? Your dress was lame. And so is broadcasting to the press that you are changing your image from punk rocker to girly-girl. Evolutions are supposed to be observed (think Madonna) not forced upon the masses who used to think Chanel could make anyone look good.

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban

A.K.A. Mr. And Mrs. Hollywood down-under
Where: A sandstone chapel overlooking Sidney Harbor
When: June 25, 2006
Why: In Urban’s vows he promised to remain non-freaky and un-scientologist. The couple also has an excellent height ratio.

What the?! At Urban’s first concert since getting hitched, poor little Canadian country singer Shelly Rastin couldn’t get into her own trailer because Kidman had the perimeter “locked down” against having her photo taken (Gasp! People might find out what she looks like!). I wonder if Urban knows he’s married an agoraphobic porcelain doll.